Unsure
by GrotesqueFlower
Summary: Even thought she's unsure, how many times is enough?


p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Amethyst was digging around the mess of a room she had, searching from pile to pile as she tossed random trinkets she had collected throughout the years behind her carelessly. She hummed to herself in thoughtful annoyance that turned into a groan of frustration. She sighed heavily in defeat as she slumped her posture and scratched the back of her thigh while she turned around. She had her eyes closed before she opened them and jumped a bit at the presence of another gem./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Woah, geez!" Amethyst sighed an embarrassed laugh as she folded her arms over her chest, "How long have you been standing there?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Pearl simply gave an amused smile at the shorter gem, holding the mug closer to her chest as she rolled her pale blue eyes, "Why are you getting so flustered? It's not like I haven't seen you scratch your backside countless times before."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""I wasn't scratching my butt, I was scratching my leg, huge difference," Amethyst raised her visible eyebrow before flicking her bangs and sniffing, " Besides, it's one thing when you think you're alone. And you didn't answer me, how long have you been there?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"The pale gem watched the other as she moved to another smaller pile of several pieces of what she herself would consider useless clutter, but perhaps they held a significant meaning to Amethyst to which she probably wouldn't be able to fully understand. She cleared her throat, "Not long, I just made tea for Steven and Connie so they could watch their little doctor show on television. I thought I would bring the left overs to you instead of just throwing them away. That is, if you want them."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Amethyst stopped and looked over at her, eyeing the mug and the three tea bag strings that dangled over the edge, "What kind of tea did you make?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Chamomile, it's getting late and it'll help for them to get a better rest," Pearl looked down at the mug and observed the access water that pooled from the used tea bags./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Amethyst gave a small laugh and straightened up, taking short steps over to Pearl, "Ah I don't care what kind it is, I'll still take them," she hooked a finger around the three strings and pulled them from the mug, and with a hand on her curvaceous frame she looked up at the other and twirled them around, "You've been awfully thoughtful lately, P. You know that, right? And I've taken a notice to it."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Pearl held back a scoff and grimace as she was flicked with pitters of tea, instead she reached a hand up and grabbed the quartz's hand to hold it still, "Well, what's wrong with that?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"The amethyst dropped her smirk and examined the other's sharp and slender features, pulling her hand away and stepping back, "Yeah, well I didn't say there was anything wrong with it."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Pearl watched her. Watched as she turned to walk a good ways away before she shoved the bags into her mouth, sucking on them as she looked around the three piles of junk in thought. The older gem looked down at her feet and set the mug down on a clear patch of the formed ground, making sure it was out of the walkway. She laced her fingers together and gingerly stepped over to Amethyst. She didn't say anything but the other was more than aware of her towering over her./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Uh-"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""What were you looking for? Perhaps I could help?" Pearl spoke and pulled free an old magazine, giving a flick of her wrist as if to shake the dust off of it before she held it carefully in her hands. She smiled eagerly and looked down at the other./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Amethyst blinked slowly, trying to read the other. She cleared her throat and scratched the side of her nose with her pinky while she looked off across the small lake at the bottom of the waterfall that swelled from Pearl's room./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Um, I don't. Really think you'd be into finding what I'm looking for…"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Why do you say that?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""It's…" Amethyst sighed and fiddled with a stray end of her long lilac mane, "A pan of brownies… Kinda, I mean they're not even baked so I'm not sure they're still considered brownies until they're actually cooked."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"The pearl gave a small and quick 'oh' that was whispered with a faint grimace./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Yeah…"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Well I could still look for it, I mean, we don't want another tuna burrito incident," Pearl gave a proud smile and stood even taller than she usually did with her perfect posture, resting her hand against her thin hip and gracing her chest with her slender spindly fingers, "I do have a knack for finding things!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Yeah well with that snout it's kinda obvious you know how to sniff things out."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Just as those words slipped passed her lips Amethyst's eyes widened, hair standing up a bit. Pearl's smile dropped as it registered, shoulders lowering and her arms falling to her side./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""I didn't mean that in a bad way, I mean, it's a joke, I like your nose!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Pearl simply cleared her throat and pulled a smile back at her lips, looking down at the quartz, "Well, allow me to sniff out what we're looking for."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Amethyst watched as the other walked over to a pile next to a small puddle of water, making sure she walked over it to avoid slipping through. Pearl carefully grabbed a pair off fuzzy dice and set the slightly off to the side so she could begin searching through the pile./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""C'mon, Amethyst, you have a system, correct? Inform me about it and we can have those brownies in no time!" Pearl hummed with a smile before shivering with the thought of actually eating the raw batter, "Well, you can, it's your indulgence."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Pearl…"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""And if we can't find them! Well, we could always make some of our own! You know, I've always wanted to try my hand at pastries again. How long has it been? Oh I think it's been ages! Well, I mean I make Steven his cake every now and again, but that's about it! You know, I wonder if making it from those boxes are any different from scratch. We'll have to find out sometime, you'll have to tell me. Maybe w-"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Pearl!"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Amethyst's voice was raspy and grabbed the other gem's attention. Pearl stopped her rummaging and her words caught on her tongue as she looked over at the violet quartz. She was confused as to why she was being yelled at in the way she was. Examining the way Amethyst was standing with her arms crossed and watching the ground with a look of conflict on the visible half of her face./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Yeah?" She stood up straight and rubbed her long arm and swallowed, looking over at her./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"The runt sighed heavily and ran her hand through her hair, still avoiding looking at the pearl, "Pearl, why are you doing this?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""I wanted to help. If you don't want me to just tell me…"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Finally she looked over at her and regretted it instantly. God, she always did this… She looked like a human child. Eyes wide with confused concern as to why she was being yelled at. Amethyst took a deep breath and swallowed. She was quiet for a moment as she tried to search for words./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Why are you doing this, Connie's over. Shouldn't you be, what's the word…" She circled her finger in the air before snapping her fingers in thought./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Chaperone?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Yeah… That."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Well I trust them, besides, Peridot is with them. Trying to get her to branch out from that old tape she and Lapis binge at the barn," Pearl's smile returned as she relaxed her posture again./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Isn't that more of a reason to watch them? Don't get me wrong, I like Peridot, but she's not really socially ready to be with humans, don't you think?" Amethyst was once again looking at the dirt that made up the floor in her room, twisting the toe of her boots into it as she crossed her arms over her midsection as if to shield herself off./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"She heard the pearl give a small laugh but didn't hear her steps come towards her until her voice came from directly above, "You know, the way you're talking make it sound like you don't wanna hang out with me. You know you can tell me, right?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Amethyst whipped her head up, eyes widened as she looked at that smile that was spread across the other's pale face, her own voice cracking a bit, "I never said that! I just- Do you wanna hang out with me?"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Of course, why wouldn't I want to if I'm still here?'/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Pearl, I mean me. Me me, not what I can be."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Pearl was quiet and dropped her smile. Looking down at the quartz with concern and worry, swallowing down her words so she could think. Her pale eyes flickered away for a moment before she closed them and inhaled through her sloped nose, she crossed her arms over her chest. Carefully she crouched down on her toes momentarily before deciding to move to her knees. The dirt and rock digging into her. She wasn't looking at Amethyst as she spoke though./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Do you want to hang out with me..?'/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Of course I do! Pearl I love hanging out with you! I just, I want things to be the way they used to!" Amethyst didn't mean to be yelling, but her voice rose as she spoke. Gesturing to herself as she looked Pearl at eye level, "I want things to be how they used to… I just. Want you to hang out because you want to! Not because you're lonely, but I get it! I want you to hang out with me again like the good old days, where it didn't feel like I was just some coping mechanism for you."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Amethyst I am trying to! But every time I try you're the one who brings up everything and makes it all so-. You make everything so difficult!" Pearl looked at her with just as frustration written on her face. But there was a difference between the two. It was distinctive./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Well excuse me for having a hard time not bringing it up! Pearl, you left me for years! YEARS! And then you just randomly showed up and just, I took pity because I understood and then when I didn't want to you left again! And now," Amethyst was chewing on the inside of her mouth as she gripped her hair, knotting her fingers along the root and tugging in habit, "I don't know what you want. I don't know what you truly want from me…"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Pearl looked at her with a mixture of disdain and hurt before she dropped it into a sigh and looked at her. She moved her hands up to carefully grab onto one of the other's to help soothe her fingers out of their entangled lock in her hair before doing the same to her other, once Amethyst's hands were free Pearl raked her own fingers through the quartz's wild mane./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Amethyst… You know me almost as much as she did, in some aspects even better… So you know what I'm going through, what I went through… And I'm trying to change, I'm trying to move on. I held onto everything so tightly like a lifeline… But, I'm starting to finally realize that things have to change. Things change and life goes on… I'm trying to move into the present. It's only taken me nearly 15 years to realize this… I want to fix things, I want to change what I did. How I unknowingly changed everything."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"The purple gem sniffed loudly and gently smacked the other's hands away from her, hands moving back to her hair but instead of knotting she went to pulling apart the strands at the ends, "You're not telling me what you want from me."/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""I… I don't know what I want from you…"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""…"/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"They didn't say anything, and Pearl watched the way Amethyst kept her gaze fixated on her fidgeting fingers. Carefully she opened her arms and slipped them around the other. Leaning into the quartz and burying her face into her hair. Amethyst tightened her jaw and raised her arms up, grabbing at the pearl's forearms but she didn't push or shove. She simply rested them there, uncertain of her own swirling mix of emotions on what to do. She wasn't sure if she should believe what the other gem was telling her or not. She wanted to, but she was still unsure./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"So unsure…/p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;"Amethyst squeezed her eyes shut tightly, her fingers threatening to dig into the tender flesh of the other's form before she relaxed and slipped her arms around her and reciprocated the hug. Burying her face into her shoulder, opening her eyes and looking blankly off to the waterfall./p  
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.8004px;""Alright..."/p 


End file.
